Friday, September 26, 2008

Ski Trip Remix















This excerpt was originally written upon the return from a ski trip in Feb. 2008 with Marco and William.


So I'm skiing...
the first day all the way down a mountain on a green......supposedly. I find myself on a straightaway ...alone....no powder ..... and tell my cocky self, "NOW, I GOT THIS!" Next thing I know, I've slammed into the ground with my gut .... At this point I have no idea where my legs are, let alone my skis. So I laid there, face down, sprawled out, with my body still spinning like a top (via my gut) on the ice. Next, some 80-year-old-dude-and-company (probably the nursing home skiing squad) flies by, and stops effortlessly to make sure I'm ok. I grunted something and then started the search for my legs.

The Glider ....
is what I call William because of the way he seems to glide across the room, butt-cheeks-a-shimmying, when merely walking. I'm pretty sure it's some sort of gift .... ah if only you could see him glide across Falcon Crest grounds, garden hose in one hand, cigarette in the other, as he's watering the various pachakakas and frootloopies, (those are supposed to be plant names, but I don't know any plant/flower names). OH so back to my point, you think skiing would come naturally. But maybe not having the cigarrette and coffee in both hands and ski poles instead, throws off his balance.

We were waiting to fly standby...
on our way back from Denver and the three of us are sitting side-by-side in the waiting room seats. I look up to notice a whole family of very odd looking people. I think I overstared at them too,cause then the dad wouldn't stop looking at me. Anyway, all the kids had big square heads like the yellow lego worker figures that I used to play with. Then I saw the mom. Genes are so cruel. So I'm sitting there pondering this family, when William starts talking about this article he read about men who dress as cowboys but really aren't cowboys. Out of the corner of my eye (since I can't tear my eyes off of the lego family) I see Will turn toward Marco who's between us, and ACTUALLY say this,"They're not real cowboys like us, honey." For 10 seconds, there was stone cold silence between the 3 of us .... I am thinking to myself ... ok don't bust out laughing right here in this crowded room .... and I feel Marco's stiff body beside me trying to do the same. Then I just lose it. Cover my face with my hands and bend over and I've been laughing ever since.

Wanna know....
how to make William scream like a girl? Get in the gondola and sit opposite him. Then get up and walk over and sit beside him while you are moving down the mountain. That's when there was a loud squeal and the hands started flapping in the air and I just looked at him like - are you kidding me? I forgot about the "fear of heights" thing and that an action like that might cause William to turn into Minnie Mouse on speed. I was 75% amused, 25% sorry for scaring her. Once Minnie regained composure, and the time came to gather my things on the seat across from me, I slowly used my pole to retrieve them as he watched me. I must attest that Disney-appropriate phrases WERE NOT what came from his mouth when I walked across that gondola.


Disclaimer: I love my boys dearly!!!!!!!!

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